I’ve written a lot about Motherhood and migraine (here, here, and here). But it’s a topic that just keeps coming back. As I work to help support women healing migraine in my coaching practice, the unique challenges that Mothers face continue to be an area that I realize needs more supporting.
Actually, let’s be honest here. We need a full-blown revolution. Mothers everywhere are whupped. And Mothers with migraine are not just overwhelmed and exhausted – they’re depressed, devastated, and hurting on a soul level. I’m not exaggerating.
So, what’s the hack? We live in a world where everyone’s looking for simple, actionable, tangible solutions to life’s most vexing problems.
And as it turns out, there is no hack for Motherhood!
It is the most demanding and important – and also undervalued, invisible, and relentless – job that exists.
We can take solace in reading articles. We can reach out to our neighbors, sisters, family to feel more resourced in Motherhood (though they may not be anywhere around). Or, if we are to listen to Beth Berry in her new book Motherwhelmed, we can sit alongside her as she deconstructs exactly WHAT Motherhood in “modern” culture is.
Then, we can learn how to disentangle ourselves from destructive internal programs and depleting obligations, in the act of TURNING MOTHERHOOD INTO A RITE OF PASSAGE.
Motherhood can be a rite of passage that returns us to our authentic self.
This is the central idea put forth by Beth Berry in Motherwhelmed. What if we could USE the intensity of Motherhood to initiate ourselves into our own transformation?
That rings true for me – because after all is said and done, I can say that getting chronic migraine has been the most catalytic force, the most transformational experience that I’ve ever had of claiming my power, learning to respect myself, discovering my purpose, and being proactive in my life. It was also the most intense experience of my life. And it turns out that that’s how humans learn – often, by facing incredible challenges.
Healing migraine (as a Mother to young kids no less) was really hard. AND my life has been incredibly enriched because of this experience (easy for me to say now, though it was a harrowing journey). It seems like Beth Berry has reached a similar conclusion in her book about motherhood that I’ve reached about healing migraine.
That makes me wonder: since so many who have migraines are women, and so many women are mothers, maybe migraine is the body’s expression of deep unmet needs in women. Maybe the epidemic of migraines experienced by mothers and women right now is a siren call to help us wake up to and reorient to our true power to change our lives according to our own internal feminine compass, value system, sensitivities, and needs.
We aren’t failing as mothers.
We’re mothering within a culture that is misleading, overburdening, and inadequately supporting us – because it’s values are placed on the external, explicit world of jobs, education, commerce, etc etc.
Meanwhile, in the implicit realm of the home, Mothers are of utmost value in keeping life going. We’re actually doing an amazing job when you consider the sheer speed of our “modern” lives.
Until we begin to organize our lives around not only our children’s worthiness but also our own, mothers everywhere will continue to bear the brunt of cultural pain and dysfunction. This matters because we cannot be the changemakers we’re meant to be while so heavily burdened.
According to Beth Berry, we need to examine and notice:
- the mindsets and narratives keeping us feeling overwhelmed, disempowered, anxious, isolated, and riddled with self-doubt
- the perspectives and tools needed for mothers to rewrite their stories and reclaim a sense of wholeness
- How to reorient to our true worthiness and importance
- How important it is that we thrive
Beth’s book Motherwhelmed, will break it all down for you. I adore this book and consider it an important resource for any Mothers, especially those who suffer with migraine.
I decided to interview Beth to weave together our perspectives and insights into Motherhood and (in my case) healing from migraine while being a Mother. My featured discussion with her will be available soon along with other curated talks in my upcoming minicourse “Supporting Mothers with Migraine.” If you’re interested, you can get on the waitlist here.
